The ones on the right will come in extra handy.
In variations on a theme, I now bring a new (hopefully) regular feature to the table: Douchebags.
Douchebag no.1: People Who Wear Power-Balance Bracelets.
Magic hologram bracelets which bring great success, power, and (maybe) wealth, or some shit. It's hard to say, the website doesn't actually mention what the thing is or what it does. Just that your favourite Sports Star/Successful Actress/Attractive Celebrity is using one and you should too. Apparently it increases balance, co-ordination, ability to down 4-XXX or penchant for hanging with THA BOIIZ or something. Check it:
Look at that. sexy.
There's even a classy version to go with your high powered business attire. Wow.
'Maximize your potential and live life to the fullest.' Indeed.
In the spirit of my new post-its, I didn't realize you were a douchebag until you started wearing a stupid piece of plastic shit thinking it has magic powers.
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